Saturday, 22 October 2016

Let's Get Real: Still Effin' Lost



11 months ago I wrote a post called Let's Get Real: I'm Lost (read it here). In that post I talked about how I was feeling after finishing university and that I really didn't know exactly what it is that I wanted to do with my life. I felt really lost, and if I'm honest, scared. Well it's been nearly a year since that post, a year I've spent thinking about nothing but what to do with my life, except now I'm a year older, I'm no closer to knowing what I want out of my life and now I'm terrified.

This is gonna sound really over dramatic but stick with me here, I'm painfully aware that I'm going to die one day, I'm also painfully aware that I have no idea when that will be and I'm really scared that I'm going to die before I've achieved all the things I want to. I think about that every single day.  But here's where things get really messed up and complicated because how can I possibly work towards anything if I don't know what I'm working towards? This is a question that has kept me up at night and still does. At this point it just feels like all I'm doing is wasting my own time and that's probably the scariest thing, because a year has just gone and I can't even tell you what I've achieved in that year. I don't know. I just feel that at 25 years old I should have my life together, at least a little bit, and I should have more of an idea of what I want and I just don't - Sidenote: should is a really horrible word! -  don't get me wrong I have taken some positive steps this year but it doesn't feel like enough.

Life is a scary old thing, and the scariest thing about it is that it ends, usually before we're ready for it. I'm really sorry that this post has been super depressing and moany. Talk about first world problems. It's something I've been thinking about for a while now, well nearly a year, and I just wanted to get it off my chest. If anyone else is going through something like this then please let me know, either by commenting below - I always reply so check back -, on twitter, or dropping me an email at lolarocknroses@gmail.com. Also check out my instagramfacebookbloglovin', snapchat -search lolarocknroses - & pinterest for regular updates.

Love love love xxx

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