Sunday, 3 April 2016

FEARLESS: Falling at the First Hurdle and Trying Again

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So let's get it over with, I failed. Spectacularly. I could sit here and list a million excuses, including not owning an adequate sports bra, but the truth is I think I may have started a bit big. I hate going to the gym. Not because I hate exercise, well not just that, it's more that  I feel that it would be irresponsible of me to leave my pyjamas and netflix unattended. They would miss me too much.

All jokes aside I really struggled. I wanted to go, and went to go, so many times but I just couldn't bring myself too. I felt too self-conscious, too embarrassed and let my fear, of something so small and insignificant, get the better of me.  Even though I knew it would be just as embarrassing to tell you guys that I failed at the first attempt, I felt more comfortable doing that then watching myself get out of breath, red faced and sweaty in a room full of mirrors and also other people, that's nightmare territory.

I'm sorry to report back that for the past two months I have not been fearless, I have been fearful and I'm really annoyed at myself for it. But I can't change it, all I can do is try again. Or in the words of Laura Michelle Kelly/Gary Barlow & Eliot Kennedy: All that matters now is where I go from here. So I will be trying again, and hitting the gym. Even though it's full of mirrors and other people. This time though I will be going with my friend so it should be much less intimidating.

This brings me to the second challenge... Learning to Drive

I know what your thinking if I'm too much of a chicken to go to the gym by myself, how on earth am I going to learn to drive? And the answer is I don't know, I am really scared of learning to drive. I'm terrified I'm going to end up killing myself or someone else. I have virtually no power of observation and absolutely no spatial awareness and I am clumsy, incredibly so. I walk into things a lot, it's worrying how much.  I say the words 'ARGH I NEED TO LEARN TO DRIVE!!!'to myself at least once everyday, but in reality I am terrified of getting behind the wheel, even though I've had lessons before. It is some seriously scary stuff. But I need to get over it and just do it. Being able to drive and having a car would make my life so much easier, it really would.

I'll keep you posted. Hopefully in two months time I'll be a regular gym going learner driver. Wish me luck!

Let's be fearless together, let me know what you're scared of by commenting below, on twitter, or dropping me an email at Also check out my instagramfacebookbloglovin', snapchat -search lolarocknroses - & pinterest for regular updates.

Love love love xxx

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