Saturday, 1 February 2014

Damn Unpretty

I was watching the feat of televisual gloriousness that is The Mindy Project a couple of weeks ago and there was a line in it that I have been turning over in my mind ever since... this was "You're a woman and that's good, you should look like a woman." spoken by the delectable Danny Castellano, this as you can imagine made me go all gooey inside but it also made me think.

I, like every woman in the world, have massively struggled with my self esteem and my body image. My struggles go back to when I was 8 which is a shockingly young age now that I think about it. I have spent more than half my life feeling inadequate, fat and ugly. And frankly I am SICK of it.

I hate my stubby man hands and my stomach, I hate my bum, my thighs, my boobs, my feet, my love handles, my ears, my arms and I am not overly fond of my hair, my cheeks or my nose. Some days I don't want to leave the house because I feel that my overall appearance is not suitable for human eyes.


In one sentence I have summed up all my insecurities and completely torn myself to shreds. As women we are our harshest critics that is a fact. No one likes criticising themselves more than a woman does. I don't want to criticise everything about myself anymore. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to love myself and all the flaws that I come with. But I don't.

At 22, nearly 23 I have kind have got to a place where I don't let my low self esteem and body image control me as much. Don't get me wrong the nasty voice in my head is still unbearably loud. But rewind my life 7 years and you would find a very different person. A very, very sad, lonely, self-conscious 15 year old girl filled with self-loathing who covered up the mirror in my bedroom so I didn't have to look.

Recently on the cover of US Elle (the beautiful) Mindy Kaling was pictured. In black and white, showing only a close up of her face and shoulders, the same thing happened with Lena Dunham's Vogue cover



Whilst the pictures are beautiful I find it disgusting, not Mindy and Lena's faces obvs, but the fact that normal sized, beautiful women are pictured in close up to deliberately not show off their bodies. Mindy made light of the situation on twitter however I don't think it's something that should be taken lightly. We live in an image obsessed world, and sadly a world where even the stunningly beautiful (and tiny) Jennifer Lawrence is considered fat. No wonder self esteem in women is at an all time low.

The media presents an unattainable ideal of woman and none of us can compete. We are constantly bombarded of what we SHOULD look like, how we SHOULD dress and no one is safe from it. We are expected to meet these impossibly high standards. And when we inevitably fail to conform to these images that's when we start to blame ourselves for our shortcomings and that sucks! Luckily we do have ladies like Mindy Kaling, Lena Dunham, Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone and Lady Gaga (to name but a few) fighting for us but I'm worried that it might not be enough.

My issues started when I was 8 and what makes me really sad is that I know that I am not alone. I have a 3 year old niece who is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen (that includes Tom Hiddleston) and I am terrified that she will grow up feeling the way I did.  What is scarier is the thought that I may not be able to stop it.

What do you guys think? Do you agree? Or am I being overly sensitive?

Until next time peeps,

Love love love xxxx

(P.S. I sincerely apologise for my use of the word 'peeps' it won’t happen again plus feel free to follow me on twitter, facebook, BlogLovin, instagram & pinterest)

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